Please share a story about an internal or external barrier you have faced.
In February 2019, I found out that I was pregnant. I was expecting the excitement to be overwhelming. Instead, I became gravely ill with what doctors can only presume was a bacterial infection. Riddled with unrelenting nausea and incredible physical sickness, I was unable to leave the house. The anxiety and depression became so debilitating and prevented me from leaving my bed. At the same time as this unbearable time, my father-in-law suffered a major brain hemorrhage obviously requiring additional support from me, my husband and our extended family. I was devasted physically and emotionally. Then I found out that the pregnancy wasn’t viable. Weeks of physical and emotional brokenness culminated in a D&C. There was some grieving. Some relief. Lots of confusion.
How did you overcome that barrier? What skills did you develop in sport that helped you overcome your barrier?
I started talking to friends and many of them had a miscarriage (or several). Finally, I felt like I wasn’t alone. The anxiety and depression made me become a hermit – I didn’t think anyone understood. Being vulnerable (to me this means creating a “we” and having the permission to be human) with my friends was the answer.
After weeks in bed, a broken heart and all of my fitness ruined, I started back on the road to healing with the help of ultimate. I joined Solstice, a women’s masters ultimate team from the Ottawa area. My return was slow, but I was dedicated because I wanted to check off the bucket list going to Colorado to play in USA Ultimate Championships. Despite the slow return, my teammates surrounded me with love and support and I felt like part of the community. We set goals together. We did hard things together. Collective pain and collective joy! My fitness and strength helped our team not only compete in Colorado but bring home gold!