WEEK #46: MELISSA GOSSE

 

Please tell us a little bit about yourself.

 

I’m a Canadian that grew up in Saudi Arabia. This exposed me to a complete different culture, blessings and obstacles. Since I was a nugget I was into sports. “Sporty Spice Mel” or “Tomboy Mel” were not uncommon for me to hear. Soccer was my go-to sport growing up and all the way to University. I traveled to Europe and Dubai to play as well as competed in the Canadian Nationals. Volleyball, gymnastics, yoga, and softball were all mixed in there too. I really found my stride though when I got into Ultramarathon running – that’s where the story of sport affecting me as an individual really changed my life. Ultramarathon running has led me to some pretty amazing places – I have raced everywhere from the mountains of British Columbia, the rice paddies of Madagascar, the rainforest of Costa Rica, and the desert of Morocco…this all also helped me develop many of the leadership and self-reflective skills I have today.

 

When I’m not training I help lead a team of rockstars at Breakthrough to help Physiotherapy Practices scale and market their businesses in order to help more people in pain get back to normal naturally. I am a dog mom to my rescue Chilean furbaby and geek out on podcasts/audiobooks on the weekends.

 

Please share a story about an internal or external barrier you have faced.

 

Internally I have always been my biggest critic. Growing up I was in a very competitive environment. This has been one of the largest blessings for me but at the same time also instilled habits or beliefs in me too that at one time were sabotaging myself. I find, especially for females, our self talk can become extremely toxic…very quick. Whether it’s from social media influence and thinking we need to look a certain way to be “beautiful”, or we need to accomplish X in order to be “successful”, or we need to act in Y to be a good “spouse”. It can add up if you aren’t hyper aware of it. To boot, growing up in a country like Saudi Arabia that has a very different outlook of females within society – where they aren’t as equal – brought even more weight to this for me.

 

I was on Day 6 of 7 running through Madagascar… I felt worn down. I started noticing though that every time my legs started aching, my first thought was blown out of proportion of I am not going to make it to the finish line. This was triggered by every time I would get hungry. So I knew my trigger, I knew the thought that happened with it, and I started realizing that Hangry Mel would blow things way out of proportion. Instead of just “my legs hurt” (which is a “duh” after running that long) – it became this is going to cause me to fail and there is no other option. Completely untrue. I got caught up on some calories and I finished Day 7 of that race feeling just as strong as Day 1.

 

There is so much to learn about ourselves and grow in self-discovery. That is one of the big reasons I fell in love with ultramarathon running. The sport puts me in a vulnerable mental state…after running

20+ hours, with no music, no distractions, you really get to listen to the voice in your head. You really begin to understand your tendencies and the true you.

 

How did you overcome that barrier? What skills did you develop in sport to helped you overcome your barrier?

 

“Know thyself” is something I firmly believe in. Before knowing more about others and what they are doing or eating for lunch…ask yourself how well do I actually know myself? Do I know really what drives me in life? Do I know my triggers and the negative behaviours that come with those? Do I know how to address those in an effective way? There is so much to learn about ourselves and grow in self-discovery. That is one of the big reasons I fell in love with ultramarathon running. The sport puts me in a vulnerable mental state…after running 20+ hours, with no music, no distractions, you really get to listen to the voice in your head. You really begin to understand your tendencies and the true you.

 

At first I began to “numb” the negative thoughts that came up. I would try to zone them out completely. What happened very quickly though was these would be pushed down and bubble up sometime later with a greater vengeance for being silenced for so long.

So, I began “acknowledging” the negative thoughts that would come up. “You aren’t fast enough.” “You sure you’re going to be able to complete this 100 Miler?”. I recognize the thought is there. Ask whether it is true or not…then immediately think of 3 positive thoughts. This has been a game changer for me!

 

Say if I have the thought come up of “You did not train nearly hard enough for this ultra – your legs are going to give out in a few hours” (This thought came up around hour 76 of my first 200 Mile Race – Tahoe 200)

 

Is this true? No, I have no idea where my legs will be in a few hours (forces me to stay present)

 

Three positive thoughts: “I have a body that allows me to run in these type of races.” “I am seeing parts of the world right now many others will never get to experience.” “My arms are feeling fabulous and strong!” (switches mindset from negative to positive)

 

Once I started opening up more and more about my barrier and how I was overcoming it – I was astounded by how many women were in the same boat. Experiencing the same self-critic and limiting themselves more than any external person or force. The support you can receive when you open up and be vulnerable with what you’re going through. Strong women don’t push others down, they lift them up.

If you had one word to describe your character, experiences or philosophy what would it be? Why?

 

INTREPID

 

Be adventurous. Watch becoming complacent in life. It is easy to sit back and get into a “treadmill” lifestyle of doing the same thing every single day, every single year. Once you stop learning and discovering…you stop growing. Everyone should have the freedom to go after what they want and when the going gets tough to dig deep deep down, reconnect with your “why” am I doing this in the first place, and keep pushing forward. Your mind is going to quit before your body. So strengthen your mind.

 

If you wanted to motivate a young female athlete to #BuildHerUp, what quote would you use? Why?

 

“Impress Yourself.”

 

Not just feel good about yourself but think of the word “impress”. When you thought you couldn’t do something. When you thought something maybe was unachievable but then you hit it. That butterfly feeling you get in your stomach, you can’t help but smile, you start thinking what else am I capable of.

Look at your goals and don’t be afraid to set them high. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and dream, even if it scares you. That is where the most growth is going to come from. That is where you’ll get to “impress yourself”.

 

Facebook: Melissa Ramba Sinclair

Instagram: @ultra.mel.jon | @mel.mel.66

LinkedIn: Melissa Gosse